I should be keeping better track; it is important yet not....
All in good time. Events, teachers, friends, they come at the right time, for the "right" purpose.
09 - 11 - Dharamsala, CTS, retreats, teachers
Oct 11 - Releasing River retreat, Toast Masters
Nov/Dec 11 - Merit making, CTS
Jan 12 - Resolutions and Vision Board, 5 Rhythms, Mastermind
Feb 12 - China & Nepal pilgrimage, Power vs Force, Somatics, Conscious Connecting, COMO
13/14 - Auset, Love & Above, Unlimited Abundance, Coaching, K-pop/Hip Hop, Yoga, The Magic (gratitude), Doterra, Fireflies, I AM Kids (grounding and openness)
Feb 14 - Jakarta: Rachel House
Sep 14 - Makeover
Oct/Nov 14 - Korea: Mt Sorak, Taiwan: 水路法会, Japan
Dec 14 - CTS
Jan 15 - Hachioji, EFT
Mar 15 - Nepal dana, Fire station moved
Apr 15 - Egypt
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Showing up
A good time as any for self reflection.
Am away from home now, living alone, taking much better care of myself, outside (only a little) of my comfort zone.
Away from negativities and conditioned beliefs and behavior.
I am so grateful that I have this opportunity! It is not about working overseas, but the true value of me growing and showing up. I keep waiting and looking for the end point, but I have also learnt to accept and embrace each present moment. I am enjoying my journey, fully appreciative and aware and ALIVE! Truly, I never felt more alive. Almost as if I have been sleep walking through all my past 30+ years. It's not very long granted, but think of all the past lifetimes.... endless cycle of samsara.
There is knowledge and intent, aspirations and motivations. I am now striving for discipline, dedication, application and integration; to be align and living my truth, to show up and be present, comfortable in who I am, where my path has taken me.
No matter how big or small a step, each has been taken consciously, sometimes decided upon as best based on the stage I was at. No wrong or right, life just is. I honour my journey and my growth.
Have been down physically. I see it as karmic clearing though. So while it was challenging, I am still grateful.
My being and heart is open and radiating more than ever, with joy, peace and presence. Life is truly beautiful.
Sending you love from where I am.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
2015 is a year of Action
Woah, it has been a long long while....close to 3 years since my last entry.
Time can be short, or long, depending on your perspectives. Well, time is just another measure, another construct.
It has really been a journey, but one that is worth taking.
Is the change the only constant? How about growth, or maybe aging? Lol
I want to say I can't wait to start blogging again, yet, I am in the flow nowadays, so we shall see.
But first up, I think I need to change my profile picture.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Thank you dear friends
Dear friend,
Just wanted to share my thanks and appreciation.
That single moment on the beach, with the 3 of us in a row, looking at the sea, breathing in. It reminded me of scenes in the movies. But mostly it struck me with e presence of peace n being in e moment.
And I m very very grateful that I have friends in u. Friends who are supportive n helping me grow. Who gives me space to learn n make mistakes, who doesn't judge!
All e words in the world cannot express my gratitude. And sometimes I still feel so young. Of course age is relative. But there is still so much more to learn.
Thank you!
Just wanted to share my thanks and appreciation.
That single moment on the beach, with the 3 of us in a row, looking at the sea, breathing in. It reminded me of scenes in the movies. But mostly it struck me with e presence of peace n being in e moment.
And I m very very grateful that I have friends in u. Friends who are supportive n helping me grow. Who gives me space to learn n make mistakes, who doesn't judge!
All e words in the world cannot express my gratitude. And sometimes I still feel so young. Of course age is relative. But there is still so much more to learn.
Thank you!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
A new wave - 2012
I cant believe I only had 11 entries in 2011. Actually not that surprising, but anyway, moving on...
Oh, but nice number. 11 for 2011
So, almost 2 months have passed for 2012. Wah, so fast ah.
But it has been a wonderful 2 months, not withstanding all the issues and problems that I had.
I learnt alot, and have grown alot, especially since Oct 2011.
Let me just quickly recap (for my own sake)
Oct 11 - Releasing River retreat, Toast Masters
Nov - Dec 11 - Merit making, CTS retreat
Jan 12 - Resolutions & Vision Board, 5 Rhythms, Releasing Support Group, Cuddle Party, Jade Buddha exhibition
Feb 12 - China pilgrimage, Power vs Force, Somatics, Conscious Connecting, Nepal pilgrimage, Como Foundation
A lot of experiences, connecting and learning was done for the past 5 months. If I may be honest, I had a quantum leap in my life! And it all started with the Releasing retreat. I believe it was a matter of conditions being ripe.
And I can 'better' manage (now), to train my mind, transform suffering into the path, and view all as Bodhisattvas.
May 2012 bring new energies into your life, and may we all continue to walk the middle path on our way towards Buddhahood.
Oh, but nice number. 11 for 2011
So, almost 2 months have passed for 2012. Wah, so fast ah.
But it has been a wonderful 2 months, not withstanding all the issues and problems that I had.
I learnt alot, and have grown alot, especially since Oct 2011.
Let me just quickly recap (for my own sake)
Oct 11 - Releasing River retreat, Toast Masters
Nov - Dec 11 - Merit making, CTS retreat
Jan 12 - Resolutions & Vision Board, 5 Rhythms, Releasing Support Group, Cuddle Party, Jade Buddha exhibition
Feb 12 - China pilgrimage, Power vs Force, Somatics, Conscious Connecting, Nepal pilgrimage, Como Foundation
A lot of experiences, connecting and learning was done for the past 5 months. If I may be honest, I had a quantum leap in my life! And it all started with the Releasing retreat. I believe it was a matter of conditions being ripe.
And I can 'better' manage (now), to train my mind, transform suffering into the path, and view all as Bodhisattvas.
May 2012 bring new energies into your life, and may we all continue to walk the middle path on our way towards Buddhahood.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
CTS 2011
High time i did this entry. A few months have already passed since the retreat, and we were invited to share at the PPF group. But I have yet to summarise or internalise my thoughts. Even when CT asked me, my only comment was good.
There is no doubt that I learnt a lot, as always, but why do I find it hard to verbalise, or share to inspire?
One conclusion which I came to, was the fact that I have yet to fully internalise the learnings. Yes, they made an impression on me, but yet, the seed was not planted deep enough for it to take place in my consciousness. Possible?
I suppose that could have been the case.
So, time to meditate and internalise....
If I were to share, or answer the same question of how the retreat was, what would my answer be?
To make it easy, and to group into sections;
1. I have been training hard: Physical/external hardship is one of the training grounds
- In Sg, we are too sheltered or pamper. At the retreat, we too, are very well taken care of. But yet I still hear complains (yes, it might have been constructive feedback on how to improve, but the tone of it, was still a complain)
- I sort of view it a little differently. All the hardship, e.g. too short meal times, a lot of stairs, too cold/hot, irritating bunk mates, long q for the toilet, etc, they are meant to let us learn and train ourselves.
Be it our minds/thoughts, compassion, gratitude
All it takes, is for us to change our perspective, in order to benefit fully from the experience. If we can "see" the thoughts that arose from that hardship, we can view it from a positive angle, and use Budhhism as an antidote.
Which is why, I love the 苦行 at CTS! A perfect opportunity to cultivate.
Cultivation should also be in our daily lives, and not only when we are seated on the cushion.
2. Concentration, Discipline and Mind training
- Related to the above point, the practices will slowly slowly increase your concentration, though bit by bit. And at times, we have to fight really hard to stay in that moment, and focus on the 佛号.
- Meal times are an especially good time to practice. Time to watch the greed of the mind, the wondering mind, how helpful/giving you are to those at your table, mindful chewing, etc
- A question I always ask myself: "Why do people have to give way to me? Why should I expect others to give way to me?"
- 过午不食: Not even the food stuck in between our teeth. That is the extent that we should practice, our mindfulness and integrity towards our precepts.
- Noble Silence: we are supposed to be practicing noble silence, but the mind never stopped
- Domino 妄想: to catch before it starts, and to reflect if it run its course "那很重要吗？"
3. Gratitude and Attitude
- Lack of civic consciousness: not placing the bowl in the flu basket when I was sick as it was out of the way. (They disinfect the bowls of those who are sick)
- Many instants where I could have been more mindful in saving water, etc. Simply not doing what I should be doing because it was inconvenient.
- 惜福: it's a mindset, a practice, something that we need to be fully mindful about, and yet understand why we should be grateful and conserve (law of karma)
- 感恩: every moment I am there (when i am conscious about it), I have ever grateful that I can go to CTS to practice and cultivate.
4. Humbled by the Bodhisattvas all around
When we observe with a clear and open heart, we can see a lot of examples of Bodhisattvas
- Retreatant who went out of her way to save water and life
- Venerables who clean the toilet so that we can focus on our cultivation
- Asking for a favour: I was very nicely asked by a Ven if I could help mop an extra section of the floor. And it was phrased as a question, and not statement or demand. To me, it reflected the mindfulness and compassion of the Venerables.
- Old ladies who really put their hearts into the practice, prostrating or forgoing rest (They beat me hands down any day)
- Times when I feel that I am in a field of Bodhisattvas, and that we are all working every hard for the benefit of all sentient beings
There is no doubt that I learnt a lot, as always, but why do I find it hard to verbalise, or share to inspire?
One conclusion which I came to, was the fact that I have yet to fully internalise the learnings. Yes, they made an impression on me, but yet, the seed was not planted deep enough for it to take place in my consciousness. Possible?
I suppose that could have been the case.
So, time to meditate and internalise....
If I were to share, or answer the same question of how the retreat was, what would my answer be?
To make it easy, and to group into sections;
1. I have been training hard: Physical/external hardship is one of the training grounds
- In Sg, we are too sheltered or pamper. At the retreat, we too, are very well taken care of. But yet I still hear complains (yes, it might have been constructive feedback on how to improve, but the tone of it, was still a complain)
- I sort of view it a little differently. All the hardship, e.g. too short meal times, a lot of stairs, too cold/hot, irritating bunk mates, long q for the toilet, etc, they are meant to let us learn and train ourselves.
Be it our minds/thoughts, compassion, gratitude
All it takes, is for us to change our perspective, in order to benefit fully from the experience. If we can "see" the thoughts that arose from that hardship, we can view it from a positive angle, and use Budhhism as an antidote.
Which is why, I love the 苦行 at CTS! A perfect opportunity to cultivate.
Cultivation should also be in our daily lives, and not only when we are seated on the cushion.
2. Concentration, Discipline and Mind training
- Related to the above point, the practices will slowly slowly increase your concentration, though bit by bit. And at times, we have to fight really hard to stay in that moment, and focus on the 佛号.
- Meal times are an especially good time to practice. Time to watch the greed of the mind, the wondering mind, how helpful/giving you are to those at your table, mindful chewing, etc
- A question I always ask myself: "Why do people have to give way to me? Why should I expect others to give way to me?"
- 过午不食: Not even the food stuck in between our teeth. That is the extent that we should practice, our mindfulness and integrity towards our precepts.
- Noble Silence: we are supposed to be practicing noble silence, but the mind never stopped
- Domino 妄想: to catch before it starts, and to reflect if it run its course "那很重要吗？"
3. Gratitude and Attitude
- Lack of civic consciousness: not placing the bowl in the flu basket when I was sick as it was out of the way. (They disinfect the bowls of those who are sick)
- Many instants where I could have been more mindful in saving water, etc. Simply not doing what I should be doing because it was inconvenient.
- 惜福: it's a mindset, a practice, something that we need to be fully mindful about, and yet understand why we should be grateful and conserve (law of karma)
- 感恩: every moment I am there (when i am conscious about it), I have ever grateful that I can go to CTS to practice and cultivate.
4. Humbled by the Bodhisattvas all around
When we observe with a clear and open heart, we can see a lot of examples of Bodhisattvas
- Retreatant who went out of her way to save water and life
- Venerables who clean the toilet so that we can focus on our cultivation
- Asking for a favour: I was very nicely asked by a Ven if I could help mop an extra section of the floor. And it was phrased as a question, and not statement or demand. To me, it reflected the mindfulness and compassion of the Venerables.
- Old ladies who really put their hearts into the practice, prostrating or forgoing rest (They beat me hands down any day)
- Times when I feel that I am in a field of Bodhisattvas, and that we are all working every hard for the benefit of all sentient beings
Friday, August 26, 2011
The Wounded Healer
Just saw a youtube clip by Humanity Healing on the Wounded Healer.
The premise was very good, that a truly effective healer, is one that has been wounded before.
Because if you do not understand the pain, how can you treat it effectively....
And because of the pain, you would wish to help others reduce their suffering.
Is that really the case for our social workers, counsellors, doctors?
They should also understand the fact that healing comes from the heart, not the mind, that the various techniques taught in school, does not always apply, esp if you do not have the compassion and heart to help/serve.
May all healers out there, work with their heart, and have the compassion and wisdom to benefit and heal others with the right motivation and means
The premise was very good, that a truly effective healer, is one that has been wounded before.
Because if you do not understand the pain, how can you treat it effectively....
And because of the pain, you would wish to help others reduce their suffering.
Is that really the case for our social workers, counsellors, doctors?
They should also understand the fact that healing comes from the heart, not the mind, that the various techniques taught in school, does not always apply, esp if you do not have the compassion and heart to help/serve.
May all healers out there, work with their heart, and have the compassion and wisdom to benefit and heal others with the right motivation and means
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