It suddenly came to me the other day, that I had already experienced some of my negative karma....
I planted some bad seeds when I was younger and in a relationship....and few years down the road, the exact same suffering/situation that i had put the other person in, happened to me.
well, that was really fast. it only proves that it is really easy for the negative karma to ripen when the conditions are right.
so pls be careful of your body, speech and mind. u never know when and what is going to come back and bite you
Thursday, July 16, 2009
A timely wake-up call
It is really amazing how things can work out for a person when you least expect it to.
I just want to record down the timely reminder that I got from my spiritual "teachers"...
Have been feeling lost and restless these few days, and that obviously led to a lapse in my discipline and practices.
So surprise of surprise, 2 days after my major lapse, they msged to ask how my practice was coming along.
I firmly believe that they were guided to remind me, and I am very thankful that I have them around, to push me along and show me the path.
Amituofo
I just want to record down the timely reminder that I got from my spiritual "teachers"...
Have been feeling lost and restless these few days, and that obviously led to a lapse in my discipline and practices.
So surprise of surprise, 2 days after my major lapse, they msged to ask how my practice was coming along.
I firmly believe that they were guided to remind me, and I am very thankful that I have them around, to push me along and show me the path.
Amituofo
Overtime once again
Not sure how many of you remembered the Japanese drama serial "Overtime", which was aired in 1999(?)....
I got the VCD recently and watched it all over again.
It's about love/relationships and friendship. 3 good galfrens and the happenings around them when they are near 30.
I have thought that it was a very good show, and even now, 10 years down the road, my feelings are the same.
I was quite upset but touched when the male lead gave up the girl he likes, in order that she may find happiness with someone else. (I was obviously rooting for him)
But it was a very very good lesson for me. The same old saying that if you love the person, you should let him/her go.
And it is very true, because if you truly cared about the person, his/her welfare and happiness is more important than your own.
Love is actually a very conditioned thing. While you might love the other person, a lot of it is conditional, meaning you only love him/her for certain reasons, and/or because you expect some things from the other.
If your love is truly unconditional, than that love can be given to the whole world, to all the sick and dirty, poor and hungry. But that is not the case, is it?
I got the VCD recently and watched it all over again.
It's about love/relationships and friendship. 3 good galfrens and the happenings around them when they are near 30.
I have thought that it was a very good show, and even now, 10 years down the road, my feelings are the same.
I was quite upset but touched when the male lead gave up the girl he likes, in order that she may find happiness with someone else. (I was obviously rooting for him)
But it was a very very good lesson for me. The same old saying that if you love the person, you should let him/her go.
And it is very true, because if you truly cared about the person, his/her welfare and happiness is more important than your own.
Love is actually a very conditioned thing. While you might love the other person, a lot of it is conditional, meaning you only love him/her for certain reasons, and/or because you expect some things from the other.
If your love is truly unconditional, than that love can be given to the whole world, to all the sick and dirty, poor and hungry. But that is not the case, is it?
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Most "hated" list - No 1: Attending weddings
No offense to those whose weddings I have attended.
But weddings are not my favourite outings.
Yes, i am totally happy for the bride and groom, and is proud to be able to share that special moment with them, and i do wish them all the best in their journey together.
but weddings take a lot out of me, and can screw up my whole balance. of course it is my own fault for allowing that to happen, and it does show that i am not yet mature or disciplined enough to withstand all the "temptations", etc,
but it is really VERY HARD FOR ME!
it is not the waiting for guests to arrive, dinner to be served, or listening to lousy emcees.
it is the fact that i am stuck at the table with friends whom i have not seen for a long long time, and everyone is updating each other on what is happening in their lives right now.
updating is putting it nicely. depending on which group of friends you are with, it can become a comparing thing, meaning we are all showing off our wonderful careers, lovely cars, branded clothes, or cute babies.
or it is a judging contest. in any case, it upset my balance because i do not know how to communicate with my friends anymore.
i m no longer that concerned with where i m working, how much i m earning, how prestigious my firm is, how long i have been married.
i only want to get out of samsara, and the conversations are so not helping me. it burdens me, tempts me, and somehow i allow it to drag me back into the whole cyclic existence thingy. argh!
yes, it is because i am not mindful enough. it is because i still have ego and pride. it is because i still need to cultivate.
i have often thought tat the easiest way out is to avoid these events. but how can i miss the weddings of good friends who have been there for me, and as mentioned previously, sitting on a cushion isnt going to help me get my mind trained. it is occassion like that that i get the training required.
but do pardon me if i fail to bring myself to attend your wedding.
i still love you, but my sanity is obviously more important. [that is quite a selfish tot...argh]
But weddings are not my favourite outings.
Yes, i am totally happy for the bride and groom, and is proud to be able to share that special moment with them, and i do wish them all the best in their journey together.
but weddings take a lot out of me, and can screw up my whole balance. of course it is my own fault for allowing that to happen, and it does show that i am not yet mature or disciplined enough to withstand all the "temptations", etc,
but it is really VERY HARD FOR ME!
it is not the waiting for guests to arrive, dinner to be served, or listening to lousy emcees.
it is the fact that i am stuck at the table with friends whom i have not seen for a long long time, and everyone is updating each other on what is happening in their lives right now.
updating is putting it nicely. depending on which group of friends you are with, it can become a comparing thing, meaning we are all showing off our wonderful careers, lovely cars, branded clothes, or cute babies.
or it is a judging contest. in any case, it upset my balance because i do not know how to communicate with my friends anymore.
i m no longer that concerned with where i m working, how much i m earning, how prestigious my firm is, how long i have been married.
i only want to get out of samsara, and the conversations are so not helping me. it burdens me, tempts me, and somehow i allow it to drag me back into the whole cyclic existence thingy. argh!
yes, it is because i am not mindful enough. it is because i still have ego and pride. it is because i still need to cultivate.
i have often thought tat the easiest way out is to avoid these events. but how can i miss the weddings of good friends who have been there for me, and as mentioned previously, sitting on a cushion isnt going to help me get my mind trained. it is occassion like that that i get the training required.
but do pardon me if i fail to bring myself to attend your wedding.
i still love you, but my sanity is obviously more important. [that is quite a selfish tot...argh]
Wilting flowers on the altar
I offer flowers on the altar to the Buddha, but as per normal, they dont last very long, and soon the yellow leaves, or drooping leaves will appear.
Of course the offering of flowers is something symbolic. It's there for us to meditate on impermanence. but yet i still would like the flowers to look fresh and beautiful. Life is such an irony.
Of course the offering of flowers is something symbolic. It's there for us to meditate on impermanence. but yet i still would like the flowers to look fresh and beautiful. Life is such an irony.
Monday, July 13, 2009
1000 piece mandala - Achievement?
It took a long while to finish this jigzag. Mostly because we didnt stick to it, and only picked it up once in a while. So guess we took a good year or so since the purchase before it was finally pieced together.
Well, it was good fun, and good exercise.
but i dont feel anything now that it is completed. oh well.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Hair for Hope 2009
I have always wanted to become part of Hair for Hope.
And I tot that my chance came this year, because the timing was right as I wasnt working and neednt worry about facing clients without my hair.
But for some reasons, I kept delaying my registration. Until it was way too late and I couldnt join anymore.
Reasons for delay:
1. I was procrastinating
2. I wanted "permission" from my husband
3. There was a wedding to attend in July
Of course than i reflected...
i wasnt ready for this activity. my intention was totally wrong!!!
ya i wanted to raise funds for the children, but at the back of my heart, i was more concerned about how people will view me without my hair. not from the appearance angle, but more of they will think that i have sacrified my hair because i am a "good" person. the "recognition" was more important that the fundraising itself.
i am still with my hair, but another lesson learnt.
And I tot that my chance came this year, because the timing was right as I wasnt working and neednt worry about facing clients without my hair.
But for some reasons, I kept delaying my registration. Until it was way too late and I couldnt join anymore.
Reasons for delay:
1. I was procrastinating
2. I wanted "permission" from my husband
3. There was a wedding to attend in July
Of course than i reflected...
i wasnt ready for this activity. my intention was totally wrong!!!
ya i wanted to raise funds for the children, but at the back of my heart, i was more concerned about how people will view me without my hair. not from the appearance angle, but more of they will think that i have sacrified my hair because i am a "good" person. the "recognition" was more important that the fundraising itself.
i am still with my hair, but another lesson learnt.
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