I want to smoke

Whenever that statement creeps into my mind, I know I am in deep shit, that I have hit yet another major bottleneck.

I am not a real smoker (if there ever is that sort of definition).
But I rely on the action of smoking, on the psychological aspect of reliance, on that false coolness that a smoking individual thinks he has.

It is a form of escape, maybe denial, and false sense of security.
I see all that, know all that.

I think i want to smoke, but i never do.
But that does not change the fact that at some level, I am viewing smoking as a solution, that it can reduce my suffering for that moment.

An unwholesome and wrong view, but one that still pops up when I am totally stressed or depressed.

I will train my mindfulness level, to stop that train of thought....