High time i did this entry. A few months have already passed since the retreat, and we were invited to share at the PPF group. But I have yet to summarise or internalise my thoughts. Even when CT asked me, my only comment was good.
There is no doubt that I learnt a lot, as always, but why do I find it hard to verbalise, or share to inspire?
One conclusion which I came to, was the fact that I have yet to fully internalise the learnings. Yes, they made an impression on me, but yet, the seed was not planted deep enough for it to take place in my consciousness. Possible?
I suppose that could have been the case.
So, time to meditate and internalise....
If I were to share, or answer the same question of how the retreat was, what would my answer be?
To make it easy, and to group into sections;
1. I have been training hard: Physical/external hardship is one of the training grounds
- In Sg, we are too sheltered or pamper. At the retreat, we too, are very well taken care of. But yet I still hear complains (yes, it might have been constructive feedback on how to improve, but the tone of it, was still a complain)
- I sort of view it a little differently. All the hardship, e.g. too short meal times, a lot of stairs, too cold/hot, irritating bunk mates, long q for the toilet, etc, they are meant to let us learn and train ourselves.
Be it our minds/thoughts, compassion, gratitude
All it takes, is for us to change our perspective, in order to benefit fully from the experience. If we can "see" the thoughts that arose from that hardship, we can view it from a positive angle, and use Budhhism as an antidote.
Which is why, I love the 苦行 at CTS! A perfect opportunity to cultivate.
Cultivation should also be in our daily lives, and not only when we are seated on the cushion.
2. Concentration, Discipline and Mind training
- Related to the above point, the practices will slowly slowly increase your concentration, though bit by bit. And at times, we have to fight really hard to stay in that moment, and focus on the 佛号.
- Meal times are an especially good time to practice. Time to watch the greed of the mind, the wondering mind, how helpful/giving you are to those at your table, mindful chewing, etc
- A question I always ask myself: "Why do people have to give way to me? Why should I expect others to give way to me?"
- 过午不食: Not even the food stuck in between our teeth. That is the extent that we should practice, our mindfulness and integrity towards our precepts.
- Noble Silence: we are supposed to be practicing noble silence, but the mind never stopped
- Domino 妄想: to catch before it starts, and to reflect if it run its course "那很重要吗？"
3. Gratitude and Attitude
- Lack of civic consciousness: not placing the bowl in the flu basket when I was sick as it was out of the way. (They disinfect the bowls of those who are sick)
- Many instants where I could have been more mindful in saving water, etc. Simply not doing what I should be doing because it was inconvenient.
- 惜福: it's a mindset, a practice, something that we need to be fully mindful about, and yet understand why we should be grateful and conserve (law of karma)
- 感恩: every moment I am there (when i am conscious about it), I have ever grateful that I can go to CTS to practice and cultivate.
4. Humbled by the Bodhisattvas all around
When we observe with a clear and open heart, we can see a lot of examples of Bodhisattvas
- Retreatant who went out of her way to save water and life
- Venerables who clean the toilet so that we can focus on our cultivation
- Asking for a favour: I was very nicely asked by a Ven if I could help mop an extra section of the floor. And it was phrased as a question, and not statement or demand. To me, it reflected the mindfulness and compassion of the Venerables.
- Old ladies who really put their hearts into the practice, prostrating or forgoing rest (They beat me hands down any day)
- Times when I feel that I am in a field of Bodhisattvas, and that we are all working every hard for the benefit of all sentient beings
No comments:
Post a Comment