Who on earth would choose to suffer?
Not the typical average human being.
If you are/want to practice, you will choose suffering. For that is the easiest and fastest way to cultivate.
I understand that fact, but that does not mean that I am able to happily accept the suffering that comes my way.
I look at the suffering, I know deep in my mind that it is for my own cultivation sake/good, but the ignorance and wrong views arise, and "argues" with me, that I do not need all this. And it is a struggle, to accept that suffering. Especially when there is the option to reject the suffering lesson, to continue to hold on to unwholesome thoughts, etc.
And I undergo 2 levels of suffering.
The actual suffering, and the suffering of suffering. I suffer because I need to accept the suffering, and I do not want to.
Argh. Double the power.
Some parts of me want the suffering, but the other rejects.
I am still struggling, I am still suffering
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