... flashes of thoughts
If only
Nah, I don't see that, but I would love to.
Remember the Sin x graph. If the angle is such that the graph loops over and over in the fastest speed possible, and you apply that to your thought processes, what would you see?
Flashes of thoughts? The Sin x theory also applies to our thoughts. It arise and than falls.
If only I can focus on my meditation, and reach the stage where I only see flashes of thoughts.
That would be a constant reminder that even our thoughts are empty.
Empty of any real-ness. It flashes and disappears. Empty of any substance. Even the thought of it is empty.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
I see... (Part 1)
...not ghosts, but carbon atoms.
Let me explain. This is related to emptiness. (no doubt my coming entries will be about emptiness due to my class).
Look at things from a science perspective. [Actually, I have a similiar entry already].
Anyway, science taught us that we are all (not only humans, but all of Matter) made up of compounds, of molecules, of atoms. And the most common atom, the one in all matter, is the carbon atom.
In such a case, than if we were to drill down everything to its most basic element, that would be the carbon atom. Which makes us all the same. We are all only CARBON!
So when we look at things, at other beings, why do we still see the differences, the external appearances?
Why cant we only see the carbon atoms, and realise that we are all one and the same. That it doesnt matter if we are balding or not.
Let me explain. This is related to emptiness. (no doubt my coming entries will be about emptiness due to my class).
Look at things from a science perspective. [Actually, I have a similiar entry already].
Anyway, science taught us that we are all (not only humans, but all of Matter) made up of compounds, of molecules, of atoms. And the most common atom, the one in all matter, is the carbon atom.
In such a case, than if we were to drill down everything to its most basic element, that would be the carbon atom. Which makes us all the same. We are all only CARBON!
So when we look at things, at other beings, why do we still see the differences, the external appearances?
Why cant we only see the carbon atoms, and realise that we are all one and the same. That it doesnt matter if we are balding or not.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Climate change - A case of...
不听老人言，吃亏在眼前
Not sure if that is truly correct, but it sure sounds right.
If humans still do not see the need to act to reverse climate change. Even if the change is occuring at a very very slow speed, one day, it will still impact mankind.
While we might not be alive than (or so you think), our future generations will. So why cant we make the necessary changes, and respect all of life-kind, to ensure that life in the next few centuries will remain suitable for mankind.
It is a very selfish thought if our emphasis is only on making life better for ourselves in this lifetime.
Not sure if that is truly correct, but it sure sounds right.
If humans still do not see the need to act to reverse climate change. Even if the change is occuring at a very very slow speed, one day, it will still impact mankind.
While we might not be alive than (or so you think), our future generations will. So why cant we make the necessary changes, and respect all of life-kind, to ensure that life in the next few centuries will remain suitable for mankind.
It is a very selfish thought if our emphasis is only on making life better for ourselves in this lifetime.
Friday, November 27, 2009
空空 - Empty is as empty is....
Hm....where should I start....
Am currently taking a class on The Heart Sutra, and learning about emptiness.
And the Venerable wanted us to discuss and explain 空... (of course to the best of our ability after his teaching)
So just to share.
The way we use the word 空, does not do the word justice.
Because whenever we use 空, we use it in context. And that is not the real 空.
When you are the first in class, into the classroom, is the room 空?
Yes, the room is 空 of other classmates. But the room is not 空 of other physical objects, like the tables and chairs. So is the room 空?
空 is typically used in reference to an object, which in a sense, does not make it real 空. (Am I losing you?)
But there is a 空空 (which I have yet to learn about)....
Am currently taking a class on The Heart Sutra, and learning about emptiness.
And the Venerable wanted us to discuss and explain 空... (of course to the best of our ability after his teaching)
So just to share.
The way we use the word 空, does not do the word justice.
Because whenever we use 空, we use it in context. And that is not the real 空.
When you are the first in class, into the classroom, is the room 空?
Yes, the room is 空 of other classmates. But the room is not 空 of other physical objects, like the tables and chairs. So is the room 空?
空 is typically used in reference to an object, which in a sense, does not make it real 空. (Am I losing you?)
But there is a 空空 (which I have yet to learn about)....
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Sin x and phenomenon
Anyone still recall their secondary maths? And can draw the graph of Sin x?
If we look at the Sin x graph, we will realise that it can apply to life. To alot of happenings in our life.
Take for example, happiness.
When we get a promotion or a raise, our happiness level rises. But yet over time, the happiness that was derived from that promotion decreases, and our happiness level falls back to zero (or normal). Than time comes for our bonus. Happiness rises again. Bonus money is all spent, happiness falls. Good performance appraisal, happiness rises. Put down by the boss, happiness falls. Rises and falls, rises and falls.....
Isn't that just like a Sin x graph. If we were to scrutinise the Sin x graph, we will realise that all falls back to zero, to the "normalised" level.
In such a case, why do we bother to place emphasis on chasing that promotion, that raise, that perfect condo, etc.
It is just like the diminishing marginal returns. It all falls back to zero at the end of the day. As such, I do not see the need to be attached. Attached to what is happening in the external world. Attached to the material, to the physical.
In a similiar fashion, Sin x can be applied to all phenomenon.
All phenomenon rises and falls.
When you see the pen, the pen "exists", and the pen "phenomenon" rises. The pen is out of sight, no longer in use, the pen no longer "exists", the pen "phenomenon" falls. [ok, this is not a good example]
When we watch movies, do we realise that it is actually made up of frames. Frames by frames, which when moving in a fast speed, make it seem like there is movement. Each frame can be viewed as a phenomenon. It arises, and than falls. But because we are so used to the movement, we assume that it is always there. But that is not exactly the case. Once that frame has past, it has fallen away, and is gone.
And that is applicable to all of life, all the phenomenon. Everything rises and falls away.
So is there a need to be attached to anything?
I challenge you to find something that defies the rising and falling of phenomenon.
If we look at the Sin x graph, we will realise that it can apply to life. To alot of happenings in our life.
Take for example, happiness.
When we get a promotion or a raise, our happiness level rises. But yet over time, the happiness that was derived from that promotion decreases, and our happiness level falls back to zero (or normal). Than time comes for our bonus. Happiness rises again. Bonus money is all spent, happiness falls. Good performance appraisal, happiness rises. Put down by the boss, happiness falls. Rises and falls, rises and falls.....
Isn't that just like a Sin x graph. If we were to scrutinise the Sin x graph, we will realise that all falls back to zero, to the "normalised" level.
In such a case, why do we bother to place emphasis on chasing that promotion, that raise, that perfect condo, etc.
It is just like the diminishing marginal returns. It all falls back to zero at the end of the day. As such, I do not see the need to be attached. Attached to what is happening in the external world. Attached to the material, to the physical.
In a similiar fashion, Sin x can be applied to all phenomenon.
All phenomenon rises and falls.
When you see the pen, the pen "exists", and the pen "phenomenon" rises. The pen is out of sight, no longer in use, the pen no longer "exists", the pen "phenomenon" falls. [ok, this is not a good example]
When we watch movies, do we realise that it is actually made up of frames. Frames by frames, which when moving in a fast speed, make it seem like there is movement. Each frame can be viewed as a phenomenon. It arises, and than falls. But because we are so used to the movement, we assume that it is always there. But that is not exactly the case. Once that frame has past, it has fallen away, and is gone.
And that is applicable to all of life, all the phenomenon. Everything rises and falls away.
So is there a need to be attached to anything?
I challenge you to find something that defies the rising and falling of phenomenon.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
A whole life of regrets
Is that the kind of life you want to lead?
Well, like i wrote in "I wasted one year of my time", it does seem like a whole life of regret.
But honestly, having regrets is a waste of time, and a waste of energy. It is considered a negative emotional state.
Yet, if a mistake has been made, what or how should one feel or do?
I have learnt that it is important to admit your mistake, promise (if not to the other person, than to yourself) never to do it again, and of course keep that promise. While it is "necessary" to feel regret in the initial stages, so that one may move on to the stage of never again doing it, holding onto regrets is not healthy nor needed.
Regrets should energise you to move on and do better the next time. Take regret and transform it into something more positive!
Well, like i wrote in "I wasted one year of my time", it does seem like a whole life of regret.
But honestly, having regrets is a waste of time, and a waste of energy. It is considered a negative emotional state.
Yet, if a mistake has been made, what or how should one feel or do?
I have learnt that it is important to admit your mistake, promise (if not to the other person, than to yourself) never to do it again, and of course keep that promise. While it is "necessary" to feel regret in the initial stages, so that one may move on to the stage of never again doing it, holding onto regrets is not healthy nor needed.
Regrets should energise you to move on and do better the next time. Take regret and transform it into something more positive!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
百度人
Hm...was chatting with a friend on her future plans. And she shared that she wanted to be a 百度人.
Let me define what she meant by a 百度人. A person who helps other sentient beings [hundreds, if not thousands of them 百] cross (度) over to the other shore, the shore of liberation.
Of course, at our level, we can only share our basic knowledge and experience. But that is "sufficient", coz we have tried to share to the best of our ability. It is more important that we have this sort of motivation, than the actual extent/level of sharing.
And of course, I too seek to be a 百度人!
Let me define what she meant by a 百度人. A person who helps other sentient beings [hundreds, if not thousands of them 百] cross (度) over to the other shore, the shore of liberation.
Of course, at our level, we can only share our basic knowledge and experience. But that is "sufficient", coz we have tried to share to the best of our ability. It is more important that we have this sort of motivation, than the actual extent/level of sharing.
And of course, I too seek to be a 百度人!
Monday, November 23, 2009
I have wasted one year of my time...
...or should it be "I have wasted 29 years of my time?
Which title would attract you to read it more?
Both statements are equally true. Which also means it is equally upsetting (if I want to feel that emotion....)
Well, I left my well paid job in Nov/Dec 2008, to pursue my own interest and focus on my Buddhism practices and building up Buddhism knowledge.
I did and did not do a lot of things at that time. Had the time and flexibility to attend more retreats and practice sessions, took up Buddhism classes, started to volunteer again...
Yet (it is only now that I realised) I did not use my time fruitfully. I wasted time on the externalities, on just thinking how nice it is that i have more time to myself and my practice. Time was wasted just thinking and planning, and NOT doing, NOT PRACTICING.
Even worst, I had been approaching things from the wrong motivation. The lack of basic Buddhism foundation and understanding was not truly addressed. I was approaching it from a chanting angle and not an understand and realise angle. I was not disciplined enough to do my daily practices....the list can go on.
Well, I suppose it is not too late to learn the truth now.
In a similiar vein, I can say that my past 29 years were all lived in vain. What have I been doing all those years? Looking back, I seem to see only the activities of the three poisons, see only the negative emotions, see the arising and falling of phenomenon. See the strong attachment to the things which are empty.
I thank the Buddhadharma for letting me have that insight, for bringing the right teachers along, for letting me learn.
While in some sense time itself is also empty, I do not intend to waste anymore time.
May you too learn to see beyond, and live life in this present moment.
Amituofo
Which title would attract you to read it more?
Both statements are equally true. Which also means it is equally upsetting (if I want to feel that emotion....)
Well, I left my well paid job in Nov/Dec 2008, to pursue my own interest and focus on my Buddhism practices and building up Buddhism knowledge.
I did and did not do a lot of things at that time. Had the time and flexibility to attend more retreats and practice sessions, took up Buddhism classes, started to volunteer again...
Yet (it is only now that I realised) I did not use my time fruitfully. I wasted time on the externalities, on just thinking how nice it is that i have more time to myself and my practice. Time was wasted just thinking and planning, and NOT doing, NOT PRACTICING.
Even worst, I had been approaching things from the wrong motivation. The lack of basic Buddhism foundation and understanding was not truly addressed. I was approaching it from a chanting angle and not an understand and realise angle. I was not disciplined enough to do my daily practices....the list can go on.
Well, I suppose it is not too late to learn the truth now.
In a similiar vein, I can say that my past 29 years were all lived in vain. What have I been doing all those years? Looking back, I seem to see only the activities of the three poisons, see only the negative emotions, see the arising and falling of phenomenon. See the strong attachment to the things which are empty.
I thank the Buddhadharma for letting me have that insight, for bringing the right teachers along, for letting me learn.
While in some sense time itself is also empty, I do not intend to waste anymore time.
May you too learn to see beyond, and live life in this present moment.
Amituofo
Sunday, November 22, 2009
I could only say Thank You
I had sort of an interesting experience the other day at JB's Fo Guang Shan. Have been going down for their group practice on sat nights, in order to do some prayer on each week's 7th day for my mother-in-law (who had passed on).
After the practice has ended, I stayed back, in order to do some prayer and dedication on my own. Typically I would have sort of thought of what to say, etc. If not, something would come to mind. Afterall, there is always plenty to ask for or seek guidance on.
So.......there I was, palms together, standing in front of the Buddha statues.
And the first and only thought that came to my mind was. Thank You!
I was speechless and "thoughtless" besides that.
And I am very happy and grateful for that moment.
For it made/let me see that the only important thing in life, is to be grateful, and that i already have all that i need.
That the feelings of gratitude can transcend all thoughts and emotions, the need for action and reaction.
I just want to say a BIG THANK YOU!
For everything in my life, all the teachers that I have met, all the friends that have been by my side...and for everything else. thank you. Amituofo.
After the practice has ended, I stayed back, in order to do some prayer and dedication on my own. Typically I would have sort of thought of what to say, etc. If not, something would come to mind. Afterall, there is always plenty to ask for or seek guidance on.
So.......there I was, palms together, standing in front of the Buddha statues.
And the first and only thought that came to my mind was. Thank You!
I was speechless and "thoughtless" besides that.
And I am very happy and grateful for that moment.
For it made/let me see that the only important thing in life, is to be grateful, and that i already have all that i need.
That the feelings of gratitude can transcend all thoughts and emotions, the need for action and reaction.
I just want to say a BIG THANK YOU!
For everything in my life, all the teachers that I have met, all the friends that have been by my side...and for everything else. thank you. Amituofo.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Our teachers taught us right
to write notes. to take down notes. to keep notes.
why is that the case?
apparently (and i agree to this point of view) in the process of noting down things (that your teacher is trying to teach), even if you fail to comprehend it at that moment in time, the knowledge's imprint will be left on your consciousness.
and someday, some time, in the future, be it 3 years' time, or 300 years' time, some event or smtg will trigger that imprint, and you will have the realisations that your teacher is trying to teach!
why is that the case?
apparently (and i agree to this point of view) in the process of noting down things (that your teacher is trying to teach), even if you fail to comprehend it at that moment in time, the knowledge's imprint will be left on your consciousness.
and someday, some time, in the future, be it 3 years' time, or 300 years' time, some event or smtg will trigger that imprint, and you will have the realisations that your teacher is trying to teach!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Time flies and Life is impermanent
In one of my earlier entries, i wrote that one of my "favourite" patient has passed on.
Just last week, I received an email about his 49th day (after passing on), where they will be having prayers, etc.
I was shocked at reading that email. Not that I didnt know he died, or anything like that. But the fact that the time flew by without me really noticing it. I was thinking "that's fast".
And that is how life often is. Moments flashes by without us being in that moment. And it is only in retrospect that we are awaken to that fact. That is truly a waste of time, on both ends.
"Life is impermanent" is a fact that cannot be changed. So why do we still linger on and put our attention either into the future or the past....
活在当下!
Just last week, I received an email about his 49th day (after passing on), where they will be having prayers, etc.
I was shocked at reading that email. Not that I didnt know he died, or anything like that. But the fact that the time flew by without me really noticing it. I was thinking "that's fast".
And that is how life often is. Moments flashes by without us being in that moment. And it is only in retrospect that we are awaken to that fact. That is truly a waste of time, on both ends.
"Life is impermanent" is a fact that cannot be changed. So why do we still linger on and put our attention either into the future or the past....
活在当下!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I have so much anger
And I am not even sure where it originates from.
And is it an irony that it is all anger at myself?
At e fact that I m still so deluded, that I m still hiding myself in shows and stories.
That I realise the importance of practice but fail to find joy in it.
Or have I yet to fully comprehend. That would make more sense.
Is it right to be angry in this instance?
But anger is still a mental defilement. It is due to attachment, due to expectations.
Even simple dislike is a form of aversion.
We should strive for equanimity. Even indifference is unacceptable. For we are "one big family".
What should I do with my anger?
And is it an irony that it is all anger at myself?
At e fact that I m still so deluded, that I m still hiding myself in shows and stories.
That I realise the importance of practice but fail to find joy in it.
Or have I yet to fully comprehend. That would make more sense.
Is it right to be angry in this instance?
But anger is still a mental defilement. It is due to attachment, due to expectations.
Even simple dislike is a form of aversion.
We should strive for equanimity. Even indifference is unacceptable. For we are "one big family".
What should I do with my anger?
Monday, November 16, 2009
I told you so
Cause and effect
That which we tend to label as karma.
Whatever seed you plant, whichever fruit you will get.
And once you start to observe happenings in your life, u will realise that to be the absolute truth.
If you like me, are e kind that dislikes medicine and doctors, and often put off seeing e doc, than whose fault will it be when one day u discover you have a serious illness in the late stages, something which could have easily been nipped in the bud.
Every often, our suffering is like that.
We planted the seeds without really being aware of it, and yet is shocked and surprised when it bears fruit.
If Buddha was not wise and compassionate, he would have said, I told you so.
Even scientist teaches action & reaction...
Be mindful of all your actions less you suffer, or worst, cause people around you to suffer because they care!
That which we tend to label as karma.
Whatever seed you plant, whichever fruit you will get.
And once you start to observe happenings in your life, u will realise that to be the absolute truth.
If you like me, are e kind that dislikes medicine and doctors, and often put off seeing e doc, than whose fault will it be when one day u discover you have a serious illness in the late stages, something which could have easily been nipped in the bud.
Every often, our suffering is like that.
We planted the seeds without really being aware of it, and yet is shocked and surprised when it bears fruit.
If Buddha was not wise and compassionate, he would have said, I told you so.
Even scientist teaches action & reaction...
Be mindful of all your actions less you suffer, or worst, cause people around you to suffer because they care!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
What sort of fear is this?
I look at others and I am very frighten.
Looking at their suffering, their current situation, their actions and behavior.
Even in their suffering, in their negative karma ripening, they are still continuing to plant negative seeds thru their new actions.
If I were to list down their past and current deeds and actions, their constant mindframe, I really shudder to think where their next rebirth will be.
Doing evil is not only killing or stealing. Any form of action, behavior or even thoughts can be considered either positive and negative.
Take a miserly person for instance. Being overly concerned about money their whole lives, not sharing their wealth or possessions. Not even a kind word or smile. Where would such a person end up after this lifetime is over?
I fear for people like that.
Looking at their suffering, their current situation, their actions and behavior.
Even in their suffering, in their negative karma ripening, they are still continuing to plant negative seeds thru their new actions.
If I were to list down their past and current deeds and actions, their constant mindframe, I really shudder to think where their next rebirth will be.
Doing evil is not only killing or stealing. Any form of action, behavior or even thoughts can be considered either positive and negative.
Take a miserly person for instance. Being overly concerned about money their whole lives, not sharing their wealth or possessions. Not even a kind word or smile. Where would such a person end up after this lifetime is over?
I fear for people like that.
Friday, November 6, 2009
That's why I cant be a Buddha
That's what my mom said to me yesterday...
After dinner, she was passing me things to handle, and we were sitting on the floor.
I noticed a bug crawling along her leg and tried to sweep it off using a brochure. The bug ended on the floor....
But that too, was the end of it's life.
Wham! My mom squashed it by reflex.
Well, I must have had a sad or "hey" look on my face. That was when she gave me her offhanded quote:
"That's why I cant be a Buddha".
I was shell shocked at the moment, and couldnt think of anything to reply her with.
What could I have said? Plenty I supposed, but what was the right thing to say? I am still uncertain.
Could that really be why people are so far from enlightenment? That they do not think it is possible for them to ever one day attain Buddhahood?
But that is so far from the truth.
I fear I have not been a good enough daughter. IF I was, I would have told her that it is still and always possible to become a Buddha. I have not done my duty for my parents in this aspect, and it would be/is one of my biggest regret of my life.
Do not follow my example. Be ready to reply that, "No, everyone can become a Buddha!"
And be ever ready to share the Dharma with all who are ready to listen. Amituofo
After dinner, she was passing me things to handle, and we were sitting on the floor.
I noticed a bug crawling along her leg and tried to sweep it off using a brochure. The bug ended on the floor....
But that too, was the end of it's life.
Wham! My mom squashed it by reflex.
Well, I must have had a sad or "hey" look on my face. That was when she gave me her offhanded quote:
"That's why I cant be a Buddha".
I was shell shocked at the moment, and couldnt think of anything to reply her with.
What could I have said? Plenty I supposed, but what was the right thing to say? I am still uncertain.
Could that really be why people are so far from enlightenment? That they do not think it is possible for them to ever one day attain Buddhahood?
But that is so far from the truth.
I fear I have not been a good enough daughter. IF I was, I would have told her that it is still and always possible to become a Buddha. I have not done my duty for my parents in this aspect, and it would be/is one of my biggest regret of my life.
Do not follow my example. Be ready to reply that, "No, everyone can become a Buddha!"
And be ever ready to share the Dharma with all who are ready to listen. Amituofo
Thursday, November 5, 2009
My favourite retreat centre
Do you have a retreat centre that you go to all the time?
Or maybe you favour a certain buddhist centre because of the familiarity or the people, etc.
Ask me ask me.
This tot isnt original, but my favourite retreat centre is Amitabha Buddha's Pureland.
Not that I have been there before, but the stories that I have heard all proclaim its glory and majesty.
And I firmly believe that I can really practice there...
Some time back, I have always viewed Pureland as my "home". The place where I truly belong, coz it doesnt feel quite right here, nor am i happy here.
But a Venerable recently shared that we should view Pureland as a Retreat Centre. Which is rightfully so, because afterall, it is still within Samsara. Just that it is a more conducive place for us to practice.
so my next retreat destination will be Pureland. And I will remain in retreat until I have attain some realisations and am ready to benefit sentient beings.
Or maybe you favour a certain buddhist centre because of the familiarity or the people, etc.
Ask me ask me.
This tot isnt original, but my favourite retreat centre is Amitabha Buddha's Pureland.
Not that I have been there before, but the stories that I have heard all proclaim its glory and majesty.
And I firmly believe that I can really practice there...
Some time back, I have always viewed Pureland as my "home". The place where I truly belong, coz it doesnt feel quite right here, nor am i happy here.
But a Venerable recently shared that we should view Pureland as a Retreat Centre. Which is rightfully so, because afterall, it is still within Samsara. Just that it is a more conducive place for us to practice.
so my next retreat destination will be Pureland. And I will remain in retreat until I have attain some realisations and am ready to benefit sentient beings.
I am attached to 3 words...
Lim Seow Yuin or more accurately 林曉昀
I would like to think otherwise, but no, I am still attached to me, to my name, as an identity for myself.
I might not seem like an egoistic person, but I do have a BIG EGO.
Maybe other people do too, but it affects me, because I know the importance of being humble, or trying to realise non-self, of seeing dependent origination.
Well, a pat on my back for at least seeing that I have an ego and need to work on it. lol
After so long, the question of Who am I is still relevant to me.
It shouldnt be. Not if I had fully realised emptiness and non-self.
加油林曉昀 ！
The irony...
I would like to think otherwise, but no, I am still attached to me, to my name, as an identity for myself.
I might not seem like an egoistic person, but I do have a BIG EGO.
Maybe other people do too, but it affects me, because I know the importance of being humble, or trying to realise non-self, of seeing dependent origination.
Well, a pat on my back for at least seeing that I have an ego and need to work on it. lol
After so long, the question of Who am I is still relevant to me.
It shouldnt be. Not if I had fully realised emptiness and non-self.
加油林曉昀 ！
The irony...
When we look inward too much...
... we become too detached to the suffering of the world out there
That sounds like me.
Looking inward seems often about the self, and you gradually forget that you live in this world, and that you still need to find a balance in the here and now.
I had a recent incident which I am still trying to struggle to learn from and comprehend. A lesson of detachment and compassion.
My mother-in-law was hospitalised. And while I am concerned and all, I am at some point detached from the happenings.
Is it simply because she is not my mom,
or because I am too detached,
or because I have seen suffering and know that there is no way out?
But yet, karma is not deterministic nor fatalistic.
There were many factors in play, and I find that I lack compassion.
I see her suffering and think that that is her due. It might be, but that doesnt mean that nothing can be done, or worst, that i should think that "she deserves it".
At some level, I understand that she is suffering due to her past karma and all. I am concerned but I do not find compassion deep in my heart. Alas, the power of the deluded mind.
That sounds like me.
Looking inward seems often about the self, and you gradually forget that you live in this world, and that you still need to find a balance in the here and now.
I had a recent incident which I am still trying to struggle to learn from and comprehend. A lesson of detachment and compassion.
My mother-in-law was hospitalised. And while I am concerned and all, I am at some point detached from the happenings.
Is it simply because she is not my mom,
or because I am too detached,
or because I have seen suffering and know that there is no way out?
But yet, karma is not deterministic nor fatalistic.
There were many factors in play, and I find that I lack compassion.
I see her suffering and think that that is her due. It might be, but that doesnt mean that nothing can be done, or worst, that i should think that "she deserves it".
At some level, I understand that she is suffering due to her past karma and all. I am concerned but I do not find compassion deep in my heart. Alas, the power of the deluded mind.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
I wish
I wish...
If there is really a wish that I could wish for, I would wish that I have no wishes.
Than I would be contented, for that is the greatest happiness
If there is really a wish that I could wish for, I would wish that I have no wishes.
Than I would be contented, for that is the greatest happiness
Monday, November 2, 2009
Economics of happiness
This is probably not a new topic.
In econs, we learn of the diminishing margin of utility, ie, the more you eat something, the less you enjoy it over that same period of time. I mean, you can get really sick from eating all the ice cream in the world at one shot, even if it is your fav food.
And that is what happiness (as defined by us) is all about.
Because we fail to see the changes in each passing moment, we assume things to be constant, and assume that once we get something, we will be happy.
But is that really the case. Look at decreasing marginal utility. The enjoyment will decrease. For sure!
So when will we ever be truly happy?
In econs, we learn of the diminishing margin of utility, ie, the more you eat something, the less you enjoy it over that same period of time. I mean, you can get really sick from eating all the ice cream in the world at one shot, even if it is your fav food.
And that is what happiness (as defined by us) is all about.
Because we fail to see the changes in each passing moment, we assume things to be constant, and assume that once we get something, we will be happy.
But is that really the case. Look at decreasing marginal utility. The enjoyment will decrease. For sure!
So when will we ever be truly happy?
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Month of birth and death
That's what the month of October felt like for me.
1. Mother-in-law was hospitalised
2. My birthday
3. Execution of Tibetans
4. Death of a friend's dad
Was it a good month? I would have to say YES
Simply because there was so much lessons learnt and to be learnt
What is birth and what is death.
If you really think about it, it is simply a phase that we all have to go thru.
As Thich Nhat Hanh wrote, it should not be death day, but a day of continuation.
For we all start off life with the same premise. That we will die at some point of time. So what is there to fear.
For me, the greatest suffering in seeing my loved ones hospitalised and/or waiting for death, is not the fact that they will die. But the fact that I do not have the ability to help them thru.
To help them not fear death
To help them face death and understand that it is a continuation
To help them repent of their past misdeeds so that they may leave without regret and anger or sadness
To assist them to a pure/better rebirth
To help them develop understanding of the reality of life
such is the shortcoming of human beings
1. Mother-in-law was hospitalised
2. My birthday
3. Execution of Tibetans
4. Death of a friend's dad
Was it a good month? I would have to say YES
Simply because there was so much lessons learnt and to be learnt
What is birth and what is death.
If you really think about it, it is simply a phase that we all have to go thru.
As Thich Nhat Hanh wrote, it should not be death day, but a day of continuation.
For we all start off life with the same premise. That we will die at some point of time. So what is there to fear.
For me, the greatest suffering in seeing my loved ones hospitalised and/or waiting for death, is not the fact that they will die. But the fact that I do not have the ability to help them thru.
To help them not fear death
To help them face death and understand that it is a continuation
To help them repent of their past misdeeds so that they may leave without regret and anger or sadness
To assist them to a pure/better rebirth
To help them develop understanding of the reality of life
such is the shortcoming of human beings
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