Human being, not human doing

Saw a tee shirt that went "I am a human being, not a human doing".

Guess it explains my entry?

We are meant to be, not to do. To live in e moment and not simply doing every moment. Time does fly and it will never return. So if u r doing every min, when are u being or enjoying yourself?

Never an idle moment

Had a chat and a stroll down orchard road with a spiritual senior.
It was a great lesson for it opened my eyes and taught me that every single moment can be meaningful.

Most of us when walking down orchard road will be busy with something. Either chatting with friends or looking at sale ads or busy wondering where we should go next.

For one thing, that is not being mindful.

For another, u r wasting your time, which could be employed in more meaningful pursuits. Example sending metta out to e world around you......

You come to school to be happy

I think that applies to every aspect of our lives.

The message came from the documentary "Children full of life".

Their teacher teaches that they come to school to be happy and hence should not cause suffering to others and thus should have compassion.

Is that not e case for all? But yet we cause others to suffer every other moment. We seek happinesss, as do others. So why are we not mindful enough to reduce e suffering of others that are due to our behavior?

Respect the Introverts!!!!

Just re-read an article from long time ago, about introverts.
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch

Very interesting and insightful article.

As a self proclaimed introvert, it truly resonates with me, and it articulated all that i want to say and share about being an introvert!

Just because i do not like to talk, or interact socially, doesnt mean that i am aloof or anything. I do care, but just do not see the need to broadcast that concern to the whole world at large.

In general, i do agree that introverts are widely and easily misunderstood. And there are numerous reasons for it, the most obvious being the fact that we hear and see extroverts so much more, and take that to be the norm (coz they do overshadow introverts to a huge extent), and of course extroverts have evaluated introverts based on their own yardstick. To take it even further, I suppose introverts are being oppressed to some degree.

I do listen. I just hate to talk. And pls dont bother me with your mindless questions.

Differences in attitude and outreach

Just to share a story I heard. Not certain about the accuracy of it, but it cant be far off from the truth.

Remember the New World Hotel collapse? About thirty over people died in that accident.
As with all other disasters, religious groups will step forward to provide aid to the victims… well, it appears that a church came forth the next day, announcing that they will set up bursary funds for children whose parents perish in the building, to support their education, etc.

And then a temple stepped forth, to say that they will provide free prayer services for the deceased victims (I assume either during the wake or the lunar 7th month).

It was a very good example to me, of the differences in attitudes and outreach actions between the different religious groups. The different sort of needs that they perceived were required.

Both groups were right, in their own ways, but the general population will have a different interpretation.

Is the living more important than the dead?
Coming from my limited Buddhism knowledge point of view, I would say both are equally important. Maybe the western world/educated might think that the living matters more than the dead. But if there is a cycle of birth and death, if energy can never be destroyed, than both the living and the dead matters.

We will always “exist”, even in different forms after death (just think of energy). So it would be important to also take care of the dead. And for that, I applaud the temple, who had the foresight of providing for the “forgotten”.

Yet sometimes the shortsightedness in me will only see what is visible, in the present world, and think that the living is more important….

Any job lobangs for me?

I took a break from work, and now think it is high time I go back into the workforce.
While I am still lazy and taking my own sweet time to find the “perfect” match, pls do holler if you come across something that might suit me.

The below is more for me to straighten out my thoughts, but you can use it to help me think ; )
I am definitely adhering strictly to Right Livelihood

- NGO, NPO, preferably Dharma related, or other social causes that I have a passion in
- Structured environment
- Socially responsible organization

To be compassionate is to act

Maybe someone should come up with an ABC of Compassion.

Compassion, in some ways, could be aliken to sympathy. But it is truly one step up, for it involves action.

You might feel pity/sad/disillusioned, etc, for someone, for a cause, but unless you get off your bum to act on that feeling, it is simply sympathy. And you can sit at home, in front of the television, feeling pity for the victims….but all that does, is make you feel “good”. Good about yourself, because you are empathetic, because you are not the victim, because you are better off….

Compassion, on the other hand, translates sympathy into action and more. It is about reaching out, about sharing, about kindness, without pity, without judgments, and it is NOT about YOU. It is about the other party, about the one receiving. You find joy in being the giver, the helper, and not to bask in the glory of thanks or recognition. It comes from a true heart that is willing to assist, to spread the love and kindness all around, to put in that tiny effort that is all of your being.

To be compassionate is to LOVE. If we have love for all the beings, we will be compassionate to all. To act on that love and make the universe a place of less suffering.

I have more sympathy than compassion. But I will act on what I have.

My life is passing me by

It does sound as if I am very very old. But who is to say that the young cannot feel the same way.

Despair is truly a very fearful emotion/state of mind, for it can keep you inert for the longest time, fearful of action, of failure, of the whole world giving up on you, when it is yourself that has given up.

There are times in my life when despair has/had a strong grip over me. The feeling of wanting to give up, that nothing would ever work, that I would be suffering forever. I know there are remedies, but I would fail to get up to apply them.

It is amazing really, a single (or few) thoughts can totally cripple one’s life.

Teachers can teach about reframing, about a positive attitude, positive thoughts, etc. But they cant help you apply it in your life. You would need to do it yourself!

Your life is only passing you by if you do not stand up to it, to make it fulfilling, if you do not live in the moment, and be grateful of all that you have.

形与行

I have been meaning to write on this topic for the longest time. But inertia was too great, plus the unwillingness to reflect on my life/practice.

By行, I was referring to my Buddhism practices, which could broadly be categorized into 2 types. The “external” practice, meaning, meditation, chanting, sutra recitation, etc; and “internal” practice, which I define as upholding the precepts, 10 wholesome deeds, watching our speech, actions and thoughts, etc, basically living by example, Buddhist behaviors.

I fully realize and understand the need for行 in our daily lives. Without行, I can hardly call myself a Buddhist. Yet, for a long time, I placed more emphasis on形.

形 can refer to the external appearances of practicing, ie sitting on a cushion, but with the mind wandering, a shell of the practicing. Yes, I know it is common for the mind to wonder during the meditation, but if we were to seriously observe the mind and our efforts, one might find that we do not exert enough (or any) effort to “control” the mind. It is very easy to sit on the cushion and chant. But to put in efforts to ensure mindfulness on the Buddha’s name, that is hard!

It is as if I think that just sitting on the cushion is sufficient to pass off as practice. I know how much effort I put into my practice, into controlling my mind. And all I can say, is that I am only practicing形, practicing the external appearances of a practice.

Over time, I discovered about my形, and saw that, at the same time, I lacked the foundations for internal行. I have been attending classes on the basics of Buddhism, but that is not sufficient. The teachings were never yet internalized, nor put into application.

Well, you can ask, what the h*** was I doing than? And my shameful reply would be “I thought I was practicing, that that was sufficient.” There is so much more for me to learn, which I am doing everyday, but sometimes I slow down to observe others, and I wonder (hopefully without judgment), if they are practicing形 or 行…

It is truly a concern (at least to me), that a lot of folks are just practicing形, that they think, (or maybe were taught) that that is sufficient? But is it? Based on personal experience, it isn’t enough. Practice without understanding, without foundations, would not lead you anywhere.

I am a Pureland practitioner, and while Pureland is already a “shortcut” for the path to enlightenment, I have been encouraged, to at least have some small, minimal pockets of time for mindfulness of the Amitabha Buddha’s name (seemingly another shortcut for busy modern people).

That is obviously a good start, but barely sufficient. True, we can tap on Amitabha Buddha’s merits, but there are still some prerequisites before we are “permitted” into his Pureland.

I once held on to the belief that my faith and his merits would be sufficient for me to gain rebirth there, but somehow, subsequently I learnt that I didn’t have enough merits of my own to “propel” me to the level where I can tap on His. My 行 wasn’t solid enough, and形 just made it worst.
In some ways, I am left with nothing now. For I gave up on my 形, and am hardly practicing 行…. 阿弥驼佛

Invitation to Compassion

Dear friends, I am part of a network called com.passion.sg, which aims to inspire and cultivate compassion, both in ourselves and in others. If you are keen to do some volunteering/charity work, cultivate compassion, etc, pls do join us for the soft launch. Or you can inform me, and I will keep you in the loop for upcoming projects. The website is still under construction, but you can view some of our views on Compassion @ http://com.passion.sg/

com.passion.sg soft launch details:

Date: Sat 26 Sept
Time: 2.00pm till 4.00pm
Venue: THE NECESSARY STAGE
Marine Parade Community Building
278 Marine Parade Road
#B1-02
Singapore 449282
Tel: 64408115

RSVP: sgcompassion@gmail.com

Buddhism is old-fashioned

Attended a talk titled “Dharma in the 21st century”, and Venerable Chonyi asked for our comments re Buddhism being old-fashioned, and if that is the prevalent view of the younger generation in this day and age. (Actually she meant the general public’s perception)

Well, I didn’t share, but I totally do think that youth nowadays have the perception that Buddhism is old-fashioned. For one thing, unless you fully understand the rationale and reasoning behind each Buddhism related ritual/action, e.g incense, prostrations, etc, you would not be able to do the actions at all (unless you are talking about blind faith or idol worship, but that’s a different topic all together.)

In fact, you would see it as pointless and even silly, such as wearing the black robes (haiqing), walking so slowly while chanting…
In this time and age, obviously it would not appeal to the younger generation. They are at an age where life is supposed to be filled with fun and laughter, where they try to live it to the fullest, and indulge in their sense pleasures. Hanging out with their friends, playing the guitar at some modern new building, attending sessions with music and the high feeling; that’s what they want in their lives.

They are simply not ready to find the quiet and peace in their hearts/lives, and be contented with what (little or alot) they have.

From the perspective of social-cum-human development psychology, I tend to understand that it might just be a phase that we all go through, that we tend to think we are at the top of the world when we are young. That we want to go out and play, and fully enjoy ourselves at the peak of our lives. Who has the time to sit down and meditate, to find inner joy when the bright lights of the city are calling out to you.

That might explain why (if my observations are right), that the demographics of Buddhism tend to be older. (for various other reasons as well).

When we get older, and tired of the rat race, of the slogging, of the partying, we might than settle down, and realize that there is something missing in our lives. That would be the entry point for a religion to fulfill our spiritual longing/need.

Buddhism is timeless, and can be applied by all ages. Sad to say, society has evolved in such a way, together with cultural influences, etc, that Buddhism is seen as old-fashioned. Personally, on one level, I am perfectly alright with that. So what if it is old-fashioned. As long as it works and brings me out of my suffering.

Yet I do see the impact that the “negative” perception has on the spread and take-up of Buddhism. But how do we revamp and reach out to those that has yet to hear their inner calls?

How do you answer questions?

As the Buddha taught in the Pañha Sutta (paraphrased): There are four ways of answering questions.

[1] Some should be answered categorically [straightforwardly with a yes or no, this or that…]

[2] Some should be answered with an analytical (qualified) answer [(re)defining the terms as needed.]

[3] Some should be ‘answered’ with counter-questions.

[4] Some should be put aside.

One who knows which question is which, and how to answer in line with the Dharma would be skilful in handling any difficult or profound query. This is because he is prudent and proficient in knowing what is worthwhile and what is not, able to reject the worthless while accepting the worthy. - Shen Shi'an
************************************************************************************
I never really knew how to answer questions. which is why i tend to keep quiet.
Honestly, answering questions is not as easy as it seems....

Am I a practicing Buddhist?

What is the definition of a practicing Buddhist? I keep hearing this term nowadays. While I didn’t seek clarification, I have a rough idea of what it means to be a practicing Buddhist.

I suppose it refers to the laypeople who have taken refuge, 5 precepts, and are working at upholding them. An additional level would be those who are also doing Buddhism practices of some sort, e.g. meditation, chanting, sutra discussion…

So am I a practicing Buddhist?

Let me go back to the basics. Is there a need to classify Buddhist (and here I use it as those who taken Three Refuge) into practicing and non-practicing ones? What is it that we are trying to prove? Is it not enough that they believe in the Buddha? Maybe they are not ready for more, (and we should reach out to them), but should we typecast them into a hole and give the impression that they are “less”?

What about those who pray to the Buddha and Bodhisattvas, who have not taken refuge. What are they than? Do they consider themselves Buddhist? Does other Buddhist consider them as one?

I am just wondering about the need for distinction. We are all humans in this samsaric world, striving to be happy. If even as Buddhist we categorize other Buddhist, by virtue of their practice (or non-existence of), by virtue of their tradition/school, by virtue of their cultural influences on their practices, how can we than be showing metta or equanimity? We are than not practicing what we “preach”. How than can we be even called Buddhist, much less practicing ones?

How do you look when you are practicing?

One of my spiritual senior posted this challenge to me. To “look” at myself when I am practicing, meaning I should try to step out and observe myself during my practices.

I didn’t even need to think about it before rejecting the challenge. Because I already know how I look like. It is simply an embarrassment to say it, but I so do not look 庄严 during my practices.

I get restless, my legs get numbed, my fingers are cramped from counting the beads. I fidget and slouch. My concentration is not 100% on the chanting, etc. (The list can be quite long)

And that is definitely not the mark of a good practice. Nor a good practitioner.
Of course I have high expectations, but the whole point is to work hard at it to achieve a certain level of “attainment”.

I have a long way to go, but as long as I am willing to keep at the practice, I will be happy at my “achievement” [because I have been slacking for some time]…

Would you like to take up the challenge of observing yourself at your practice?

Another thing I want to note, is that our practices is not about the external. Meaning not how you look like when you are seated on your cushion. Nor how you sound like the monks when you are chanting.

Our practices should be focused on the internal. The level of concentration, the radiating of metta or the whole hearted faith in the Buddha… and that is what I need to work hard at.

But he is not my husband

Humans have a very warped way of thinking at times.

Yen was trying to justify his obessession with Futera (an online soccer game) by commenting that at least he doesnt spend all his time like other guys on the computer or at Lan shops playing those mulitple player games (or whatever those were).

And I shot back at him: "but they are not my husband"
That did effectively shut him up, but we had a good laugh at it still.

On reflection, it really all boiled down to the need for control. But why do I feel the need to control? That is a really interesting question. It truly would not have bothered me if it was some other guyfriend who was playing futera all the time. I mean, it is their life, and they can choose to live it in any way they wish. So why do I impose something else on my husband?

Maybe it is about power. The need to be able to exercise power and control over your other half.
And that is a very sad thing, because you married (or are with) that person because you love him the way he is, and yet you do not show the trust and respect that you should be giving the one you love.

Your loss or mine?

I shared about HHDL's teaching tour with a friend, and he said that he aint free to attend.
And I replied: "That's your loss"

He came back with a POWER reply, which gave me food for thought.
It can't be a loss if I dun place a value on that item (It apparently came from Lao-Tzu)

Well, that is so so true. I gave value to the teachings, and hence thought it would be other people's loss. But if the other person firstly doesnt attribute any importance or value to it, than they wont view it as a loss.

Secondly, why did i impose my choices and values on them. It will obviously not be the same. And i judged them using my own standards. [Which definitely is a wrong action] It wasnt anybodies' loss. But it was a good lesson for me.

With a pure mind

With a pure mind, even a grain of sand sparkles like a diamond, or is seen as perfectly equivalent.

Quoted from somewhere, but as usual, I picked it up and forgot where.
Anywhere. I think the sentence is pretty self-explanatory....

The reason why we categorise, judge and discriminate, is because our minds are unpure.
With ignorance and delusion clouding our mind, even the purest object can be seen to be dirty!

It is important to bear in mind that all my perceptions of everything is due to the impurity of my mind. If it is pure, there will not be any need to even talk about it....

Gratitude to my beloved Teachers

Happy Teachers’ Day.
Tho I know that the many spiritual “teachers” in my life will not be reading my blog, I would still like to convey my thanks to them, for they have touched my life and gave me guidance when I needed it the most.

There shouldn’t be any differentiation, but I feel that the greatest thanks should go to Shakyamuni Buddha. He is the most important and greatest teacher that I could have/”had” in this lifetime, and I am immensely thankful that I had the chance still to learn from his teachings in this Dharma degenerating age.

While we still do celebrate teacher’s day, I cant help but feel that it is simply just a school holiday now, and students fail to fully appreciate their teachers. I should know, coz that was how I felt even when I was in school. We tend to take them for granted, and only realize the importance of the lessons that they were trying to impart when things go wrong or fail to live up to our expectations, often when we are older in age and in experience.

In some sense, I suppose people have to learn from their own mistakes. But the truly smart ones learn from others’ mistakes. Guess that makes me the dumb one ; )