I am so connected

Humans are so deluded. (Myself included).

Yen got a smart phone HTC HD2 and it can act as a wireless router. So now he has the habit of saying "I m so connected".

I never fully appreciated the connectedness. But as I m seated here in KAP, waiting for a friend to come for breakfast, there is Wireless@SG, which autoconnected my ipod touch.

As I walked in this morning, I knew I was early, and was lamenting the fact that I didnt bring my laptop along. So out came my ipod touch, which i use to blog, and the wireless autoconnected. So cool. It was at that moment that i fully appreciated "I am so connected".

But what is the point of being so connected???
IF deep down inside, we are not connected to our heart, to compassion?

Death and its perspectives

Read about the death of the world’s shortest man. It was the photo that captivated me. I assume he would have faced loads of troubles in his life, but his smile, was amazing. It seemed as if he is permanently happy, that he has seen and experienced life, but has found it meaningful and wonderful. I would give anything to have such a smile (it is really the eyes that smiled and twinkled).

Attended a class that focused on death and the lower rebirths. It really spoke to my heart about the importance of practicing Dharma NOW, purely. But my friends who attended went away with other opinions. And for that, I felt at a lost. I can only bring my friends to the class, but what they take away, is something I cannot control.

We went for supper after class, and sort of discussed the topic, but I didn't really share my views. In my heart, I was still thinking of ways to share and let them understand the fear of dying. Not of dying, but of a lower rebirth. (of course this is on the assumption that you believe in rebirths). It wasn't that they didn't understand this fact, but one took issue with the fear driven method of teaching about death.

Honestly, fear of a lower rebirth is one of my biggest fear. Because you really don't know where you will end up, and I do know (for a fact), that I had committed un-virtuous actions in this lifetime, not to mention the past.

And my biggest fear for the people around me, is the fact that they are not in touch with Dharma, so who is to guess what sort of mind frame they will be in when they die. They do not even have the Triple Gems to take refuge in.

And due to my limited knowledge and lack of skillful means, I can’t do much more for them.

Sadly, even I am not practicing Dharma purely, moment to moment.

Death is good for you

Not the actual dying but the experience of your loved ones passing on.

Yes, you might be sad that they are no longer around but nevertheless, it is still something that you will need to go thru, so why not take the opporunity to learn and see the truth?

Truths are aplenty no matter where or what happens. Especially so in the face of death.

Impermanence, the attachment, being prepared for death, coping with your emotions, non-stop practicing.

If you truly understood death and the mysteries around it, you will live life fully, in e moment, and yet prepared for it.

I have learnt some during this period of my life. It remains to put it into practice and constantly be mindful.

Work is a "hell hole"

Hm... not what you think I am think.

While I won't go to the extent of saying I love my job (coz that reflects attachment of sorts) , I appreciate it for a variety of reasons.

When you work, sometimes it is the best place to learn and practice. Problems will no doubt crop up, and that is e best time to learn to face and resolve them.

When we take that positive attitude towards work issues, it's a win win.
We solve e prob and resolve our issues.
It is also a good time to be watching the mind.

To watch e mind for ego and attachment. To watch your reactions and emotions.
I have seen my mind go in all directions but the right one.
But at least I am watching it, and will slowly guide it in the right direction.

Work might be hell for all the problems and issues, but it is the best learning experience you can ever get!

Work the middle path

Sort of went back into the workforce and all sort of issues are surfacing. Typical I suppose, but I m grateful that I m more mindful this time round.

I m not the kind that can leave work behind when I go home. But I will continue to keep trying.
Trying to let go and not be attached.
As long as I did my best, I will not be attached to the results nor my image, etc.

Work is impersonal. And that is an important concept. We take work to be so much more. That it becomes our identity or our self image or esteem.
Work does not reflect us, and we shouldn't be so attached to what is associated with our job.

Of course we still need to do a good job. That is our responsibility, what we are paid for. Hence work the middle path.

I don't care!

Heard that statement from one of the flats as I was walking to the bus-stop.

It didnt quite stop me in my tracks, but it came close enough.


How often I used that statement myself. I suppose I have reduced it over the years, but even if it wasnt verbalised, the action and thought running thru my head is going "I don't care!"


'I dont care' now seems to me to be the true reflection of a self-cherishing attitude.

By going 'I dont care', u make yourself the centre of the universe, and that only you matter. That what you want is the most important and most right.


However, right can easily be wrong when you stand in the other person's shoes. So how can you forever be right?

But that's not the point. The key point here, is that we should reduce our self cherishing attitude. From a lay perspective, everyone else has the right to live, to their comments and actions. So instead of going I dont care, we should be more compassionate and willing to share their differences.

What grounds you?

The title sound very new agey. But I want to share about this from the Buddhism perspective.

Generally speaking, alot of things can ground a person. Let me explain the grounding part.
Grounding in the sense that that is the fundamental thing that you will return to, that you are based on, that you function on.

The one thing that will keep you in check, or your mind at peace. That you can take refuge in, and return to, in times of need. That will help you stay sane and move on in your daily life when you encounter turbulences in your life.

That is the whole concept of Taking Refuge in Buddhism. (But this entry isnt wholly about taking refuge.)

A good friend shared that he is lost and confused in his life. And try as I might, I couldnt think up anything for him to guide his way. Not the Triple Gems, not the fact that he will be stuck in samsara. And I could not understand why. (I do and I don't)

Personally, the fact of samsara always pulls me back. Maybe not immediately, but the thought will build in my mind, and I will try to wade through the delusions to fall back on the Triple Gems. For I cannot imagine myself suffering for endless time (if i made that wrong decision etc). The temptation is still there, but fear of eons of endless suffering stops me midway.

Sad to say, it is based on fear. But at least it keeps me on the right track for now. And it does ground me to a huge extent. Not all my thoughts, actions and decisions are processed this way, but mindfulness is slowly increasing.

What about you? What grounds you? Or what do you take refuge in? That you count on to provide direction when you are lost?

I sincerely hope it is the Triple Gems, or the Buddha Dharma

How has Buddhism influenced my life

A very cliche title but I still want to share thus.

Met up with an old college friend for dinner. And somewhere during the conversation, he shared that he could see the changes in me, due to the Buddha Dharma. Which led to this entry.


Hm, i sense a long story coming along.

Anyway, changes in a person is not best shared by the person in question, coz the views might be biased. But I suppose I could still share what I think....

To be honest with myself, the changes are minimal on the surface level.
Most who know me would already think that I am a kind person. But the attitude behind it has shifted from plain kindness, to one focused on compassion. I might not be able to achieve the Bodhisattva spirit yet, but the concept of compassion and wisdom is stronger in me than before.

And while I am still deluded by illusions, the mind is slowly learning to train itself, to watch itself. It might not catch the delusion in time, but at least it is slightly more mindful than before. And mindfulness, is the best attitude and technique anyone can ever have.

Of course the path to enlightenment is very very long, but at least the first baby steps are already being taken.

And at least I have some thing to fall back on in times of fear and worry.
Praise to the Triple Gems for being my refuge and foundation.

IT Refuge

I went for a group mani chanting session on Friday.

And the chant master was sharing about taking refuge during the session.
Sometime later, he turned to ask me where is Yen.

Well, Yen was at the IT fair instead of the chanting session, or his yoga lesson.
And it translated to the fact that Yen took refuge in IT instead.

Which I agree to be the truth.
If the Triple Gems were important to you, if you value your time such that it can benefit sentient beings, you will consciously choose to attend the chanting session instead (or any Dharma activities).

Yet alot of us are still driven by our delusions regarding the material world. And we take refuge in physical forms instead of relying on the strength and guidance of the Triple Gems.

Let us live our lives mindfully, and truly understand and practice the real taking of refuge in the Triple Gems.

Praise to the Triple Gems for guiding our path to enlightenment.

Mirror mirror on e wall

We all know that what we see in the mirror is not real. That it is just a reflection and lacks real form. Hence we sort of discount that image in the mirror.

Of course we still scrutinize it when we are vain but it is a known fact that the image is "false", as in it doesnt have its own life.

If we can accept the fact that the image in the mirror is false, than why do we hold on to e delusion that our body/form is real? I thought it was a very good parallel.

Of course e fact that our form is empty is harder to accept. But if we can be taught that e mirror image is false, we too in time, can learn and realise that our physical form too is empty and false.

Buddhist fellowship

Not the organisation, but fellowship between buddhists.

I suppose it is important to have fellow Buddhist around one, to provide the support and guidance in one's life, with the focus on the dharma. I consider myself a relatively young Buddhist, so my dharma knowledge is minimum.

As such, I realise and find it difficult to provide the right kind of support to my friends (not that I do not try, of course). When one is still trying to find the balance and walk the middle path, one does not (seemingly) have the means or skills to support another.

And for that, I am sad(?). I would love to share more but I fear that I lack the wisdom and would misguide others. And I lament at that fact. In any case, fellowship is still necessary and essential.

What does sugar taste like

My yoga instructor once asked us how to describe sugar taste to one who has never tasted it.

The technical correct answer is get the person to taste it himself.
I couldn't figure out the answer at first. But to taste for oneself makes sense.

Similarly (and maybe sad to say) the case for Buddhism.

You need to understand and practice the Dharma before you can reap the benefits and truly understand how it can benefit you. Plain sharing by fellow buddhists will not fully allow you to grasp the value and beauty of applying the Dharma in your life.

Just as I can say meditation brings me peace, a non practitioner will find it hard to comprehend.

Dharma must be practiced to have a real taste of it's benefits!
What does Dharma practice taste like to you?

借福 - CTS 29

One thing I learnt at CTS, was e "concept" of 借福.

And I firmly believe that that is e mindset that the current generation lacks.
It is nothing new but seldom practiced.

If we knew how to treasure resources and not be wasteful nor take for granted, the world might be in a better state than that which we see today. It is not hard to prevent wastage. At CTS, we flush e toilet using laundry water. Wastage during dish washing is minimized using big tubs for rinsing. Recycling is encouraged.

There are many ways to respect and treasure our resources but sometimes we take it for granted.

If you believe in samsara, than you might return to suffer in e future where resources are scarce or where even e air is so polluted that you can't breathe properly. Just because u need it now, doesn't mean that you can't share or that it will never run out.

If we can minimize our self cherishing attitude and think for others or our future generation, the world will be a much better place to live in.
In addition you are creating merits as well as conditions for yourself to enjoy e resources in future!

借福 is a good practice that we should build up and inculcate in our people today.

Taken for granted: his karma or mine

Honestly, I know I take yen for granted.

There are times when I sit down and wonder: is it his karma or mine? His lousy karma or my good karma?
To be able to find someone who supports me and provides me with e condition to practice.

I am very thankful that I have him in my life. I can only hope that I have brought the Dharma into his life as well.

It truly doesn't matter if it is his lousy or good karma or mine.
While not fatalistic, it was meant to be.

I can only count my blessings, and for that I m grateful.
Amituofo.

Immortality is not

... not sure what word to use to describe my thoughts...
worthy? fantastic? priceless? to die for?

was reading fantasy books where there are creatures who are immortal. and I asked if there truly are immortals who are walking this land?

when u think about it, we are "immortals" in some sense.
if you believe in cyclic existence, than we never really "die", in the no longer existing sense of the word, because our "consciousness lives" on.

And I suppose the Buddha could be considered an immortal? Of course not in the way and terms of the lore.

In any case, we should be thankful that we are not immortals. for than, the suffering would be endless. as it is, we should grateful for small favours, in this case, the pain of rebirth where we have no memories of our past suffering. imagine having to carry those pain and fear, living on for endless times where the dissatisfaction never ends.

it is a plus, also a minus of cyclic existence.

True immortality (to me), is in the state of our minds. When our mind is free from delusion, time and space will be seen in its true nature.

Sorry sorry super junior

Was watching the mtv the other day. I must say, it was very well done. Simple steps, but gracefully choreographed. I can totally understand why gals are so mesmerised. Even I was quite hooked on it.

But alas, it didnt last long. There is a surge of joy and exhilaration when watching, but obviously it fades when it is over.

And I found out, luckily not the hard way, that once again, those surges of high and joy isnt worth much. And it upsets my peace and tranquility. You find yourself yearning for things that are unsubstantial, that are useless. And that is totally a waste of time and energy, which can be put to better use.

Sorry sorry super junior, but i will refrain from watching you dance again.

sorry sorry

Christopher Pike and emptiness

I am not sure if I got the author right, but I think so.
I used to read fiction by Christopher Pike (a bit of horror is involved) when I was a teenager.

And there was one book about cyborgs, where a scientist committed suicide because he drilled into particles and found nothing (emptiness). [This ties in with the nanotech and particles and energy sort of stuff in quantum physics these days]

Anyway, as a teenager, I was intrigued(?) by the scientist's suicide note "There is nothing".
And I thought it to be so true. That there must be "nothing". This statement has stayed with me.

So learning about emptiness was a joy. It sort of validated what I had always believed in.
Only better, I saw it from the correct perspective, that while it is empty and we shouldnt be attached, we should strive on the middle path, and NOT take the extreme way out like the scientist. Or over indulge since "it all doesnt matter as it is empty anyway".

Thank you christopher pike, for my entry into the world of emptiness

The road oft taken

I was walking to the bus stop few streets away the other day. And before I left the house, I was thinking to myself, that I would take a different route that is seemingly shorter today.

And so I walked, crossed one street, down one pavement...
before I realised that I had already turned down the path that I have taken every day, and not the one that I had planned.

It really shocked me, coz I was planning on that other more scenic route, but by force of habit, my feet took me down the same old trodden path.

And it came to me, that our habitual tendencies, our force of habits, are so so strong, that it will take a massive effort to change them.

Is that a good or bad "realisation"?
I can only say it is timely reminder.
To remind that everything requires an effort. And often the most important things require a stronger and more concentrated effort.

It is hard to put the Dharma into practice, as our habits come into play and the new lessons are forgotten. But we got to keep trying, to incorporate Buddhist wisdom and practices into our daily lives.

May we have the wisdom and fortitude to take the path less travelled, with mindful and right effort.

Irritating children

I have never been one for kids. Even smiling at children on the public transport or streets feels forced.

It could be coz I find them irritating, or because i see the difficulty in raising a child up properly.

In any case, I dislike children. Tremendously. And I am not afraid to admit it now. Sometimes the dislike is so strong, that it even borders on hatred.



And I have spent a long time wondering and asking myself why that is the case. They have done nothing to offend me, so why the strong feelings.

I still dont have a clear answer.



But maybe, just maybe, it is because I see myself in them.

I see the self-cherishing attitude that I hold, manifested thousand times in their crying to get what they want.



Somehow when we are young, we learn that crying can get us our way. Or is it the over-indulgence of our parents?

In any case, we develop the self-cherishing attitude that we come first.... That we can always get what we want, that the suffering of others does not matter as long as I achieve what I want.



IS that really the case? Is that really what we are taught unconsciously?

I believe that to be the case, and for that, I fear that I will never be able to like children, and that the self-cherishing attitude I hold will be hard to erradicate.



But I will not give up on trying. Trying to put others before self. Even those irritating children.

Karma is not fatalistic

As taught by a Venerable, karma is not fatalistic nor deterministic. Meaning it is not a forgone conclusion.
Meaning while you get what you sow/plant, the changes in the conditions required for fruitation can still vary and change the outcome.

I was thinking of all the natural disasters, and how hard it is to help the victims when this came to mind.

As Buddhists, we shouldnt think that it is their karma, or that we can do nothing to help them.
While there are challenges to assist them or educate them about the Buddha Dharma, it doesnt mean that we shouldnt try, or that it wouldnt work, or have no effect.

Our smallest action will plant a seed, that may in time come to bloom. We shouldnt give up on account of our misconception about karma and it results.

Humanitarian work is a good way for Buddhism to spread, thru our actions and behaviours. By practicing what we believe in.

Is it really your karma?

But it is not deterministic.
I can only say that I did not try my best, and for that I would forever be regretful.

Regret is a rather sorrowful thing.

Another death in e family and once again, I did not manage to do much to help. And I used the excuse of their karma as the "obstruction" to my assistance.
How true is that? I do not know. I only know regrets!

Like any human, I sought to find excuses for myself. The environment was not conducive, I could not over ride the decision of e eldest son, I was afraid of other peoples' opinions...As always, I could do more, but I have yet to.

I look at the family and I fear greatly for them. What if the rest of them have even less merits? None of the children are buddhists, so there goes the last min salvaging with Buddhist chants during e last moments and funeral, much less the 49 days.

Where would their rebirth take them? When you do not have e slightest idea, that is when to fear! More to fear.

She was 96 when she left. In general (from a samsaric perspective), she has had a good life. But towards the end, there was a host of health problems, including a gaping wound that would not heal.

And I was reminded of those stories of merits and good karma coming to an end, and your enemies and debtors coming after you. I believe that to be true, and what was observed is plain scary.

You might think you are kind, but are you really?

Of course I suppose our fear all comes from our delusions ! But it is still true while we are in samsara.
But I hold on to the fact that karma is not fatalistic...