I have wasted one year of my time...

...or should it be "I have wasted 29 years of my time?
Which title would attract you to read it more?

Both statements are equally true. Which also means it is equally upsetting (if I want to feel that emotion....)

Well, I left my well paid job in Nov/Dec 2008, to pursue my own interest and focus on my Buddhism practices and building up Buddhism knowledge.

I did and did not do a lot of things at that time. Had the time and flexibility to attend more retreats and practice sessions, took up Buddhism classes, started to volunteer again...
Yet (it is only now that I realised) I did not use my time fruitfully. I wasted time on the externalities, on just thinking how nice it is that i have more time to myself and my practice. Time was wasted just thinking and planning, and NOT doing, NOT PRACTICING.

Even worst, I had been approaching things from the wrong motivation. The lack of basic Buddhism foundation and understanding was not truly addressed. I was approaching it from a chanting angle and not an understand and realise angle. I was not disciplined enough to do my daily practices....the list can go on.

Well, I suppose it is not too late to learn the truth now.

In a similiar vein, I can say that my past 29 years were all lived in vain. What have I been doing all those years? Looking back, I seem to see only the activities of the three poisons, see only the negative emotions, see the arising and falling of phenomenon. See the strong attachment to the things which are empty.

I thank the Buddhadharma for letting me have that insight, for bringing the right teachers along, for letting me learn.
While in some sense time itself is also empty, I do not intend to waste anymore time.

May you too learn to see beyond, and live life in this present moment.

Amituofo